Pop Calling the Kettle Whack

I watched a fascinating program on TV last night.  It was literally entitled 'Japan vs China vs South Korea' and that's exactly what it was...well, kinda.  There's no love lost between this triangle of nations, and it could have been a real in-depth debate about the long-standing issues between the Asian giants.  Alas, it was a pretty toothless light entertainment show fronted by TV personalities representing each country (the Japan 'team were headed by loudmouth lard-monster cross-dresser Matsuko Deluxe (pictured above), and they dabbled in pretty pointless questions such as "Why is K-Pop so popular in Japan?' (incidentally, Matsuko's retort was that K-Pop is just a bad imitation of U.S. Pop.  Which could replace 'Pot Calling the Kettle Black' as the definition of towering hypocrisy.

But what riled me the most was the blatant passive-aggressive circle-jerking over Japan.  Okay, so it's a Japanese TV show, but it was so balls-out unfair and downright mean that I nearly choked on my Octopus Balls.

Example one: In a promotional-like video, the first thing Japan's segment showed was the awesome Sky Tree, now the second tallest building in the world.  Best foot forward, yes?  But then it proceeded to pull out a picture of the Canton Tower, and compare lengths, which the Sky Tree won by a mere 34 metres.  It was one step from the leaders of each team whipping out their own manhoods and seeing who could pee highest up the wall.

When China's own segment came up, what was the first thing it showed?  The Great Wall?  The Forbidden City?  The glittering skyscrapers of Shanghai?  Well actually, it was a crowd.  Just...a crowd.  And not a slick, sexy high-production value crowd.  A filmed-on a calculator shuddering mudfest of a crowd.  The Japan team and the studio audience proceeded to laugh.  It was possibly the most malicious, loaded laugh I've ever heard.  Clearly the China team had no say in putting their own case forward.  It's also the height of richness that the Japanese would dare slam China for it's apparent crowding when any given commute on a train can turn into a mobile sardine can of human flesh.

Example two: When the inter-team debate, such as it was, began in earnest, the host pulled out a special guest to voice their own opinion.  Was this an expert in Asian relations?  No she was a member of the Women's Japanese Soccer Team.  With all due respect to her, she was far from an expert and further still from being impartial.  It effectively gave the Japan 'team' an extra side to argue from.

You simply could not get away with this nauseating level of jingoism in the U.K. (Unless you're a writer for the Daily Mail).  It did nothing but show the Japanese up as being childish, unwilling to play fair and brain-numbingly hypocritical.

That all being said, it wasn't all bad.  As limp-wristed as the topics were ("Why doesn't Korea have many TV personalities" was one, as if this is a bad thing), there were some decent segments, especially the part following the lives of inter-asian couples living in the differing countries.  And, when all is said and done, Japan needs more probing, 'uncomfortable' debates like this.  Japan is a country that largely shys away from difficult questions and is super-sensitive to criticism (as the tubby in a one piece showed), so this is a step in the right direction.  True, questions like these were about as penetrating as a snow on steel, but it's a baby step in the right direction.

And finally, it was refreshing to see the Chinese team get the last (and best) word in: when they said that they have made many things the Japanese use everyday, the Japan team challenged them to name one.  The Chinese guy then proceeded to point to the Kanji (literally 'Chinese Characters') on each and every one of their name badges.  Like a boss.

You can watch the full show here (in Japanese).